Bella POV
When the pilot announced we would be landing, I resumed my seat across from Jasper and buckled my seat belt.
Being in Jasper’s arms had been such a comfort. I knew he hadn’t been using his ability either. He was just being there for me and I was thankful for it. My grief was like a constant ache in the vicinity of my heart and I knew it must be difficult for him to feel, but I was selfishly pleased at his presence.
Shaking my thoughts from my mourning, I thought of the situation here in Washington
Thoughts of leaving made me sad and worried for another reason – that reason being the man sitting across from me. I knew I was attracted to him. Obviously. His likeness fair littered one of my sketchbooks. I’d say it was borderline obsession before I’d met him again. But the time we’d spent together at the castle had shown me a glimpse of the man he is behind the body I so admired. The more I learned about him, the more I realized my attraction had less to do about his looks and more to do with the man himself.
I readily admit – to myself, at least – that I liked him and wanted to continue to learn about him. His care of me as I dealt with Charlie’s death was only solidifying that desire. I knew this was a time when I was quite vulnerable, but I knew Jasper’s care was genuine. I could feel it even without his power to guide me.
What I wasn’t sure about was the depth of that care. There were times when I thought he felt as I did, but then I still didn’t know him that well. He could be so kind with everyone. I knew it was my fear of rejection speaking - my insecurities - but I couldn’t bring myself to do anything about my attraction.
To be honest, now didn’t seem the time to be worrying about such things. I had to deal with my grief and see to Charlie. I knew thoughts of Jasper were only distracting me from the sadness. I needed to get through the next few days and say my goodbyes to my father. While I did that, I would be patient and observe. Perhaps if I was perceptive enough, I could come up with a solution to my little dilemma.
“Princess?”
Jasper’s voice startled me from my thoughts and I blushed. “Sorry, I was…thinking,” I apologized, unbuckling my belt and taking his proffered hand, only just noticing that the plane had stopped.
He squeezed my hand, his eyes capturing my own. “You okay?” he asked. “I’ve been trying not to tamper with your emotions, but if you need help, just say the word.”
I stood and squeezed back with my fingers, rubbing my other hand up his arm. Trying to ignore the feel of the sculpted muscles beneath his shirt, I answered, “I’m okay for now. But thanks, Jasper.”
He smiled and turned, releasing my hand. Grabbing our coats, he handed me mine while putting on his own. I followed suit. Then he slung his carry-on over his head, the strap crossing over his chest with the contents behind his back. He passed me my purse, which I perched on my shoulder, and then took my hand once again.
Exiting the plane, we stepped onto a connected platform and down the stairs to the tarmac. The weather was cold and it was drizzling, the shock of it after the warm, sunny weather of Italy
Jasper looked over at me with concern. “We’ll get out of the cold soon, princess.”
I nodded and made my way down the stairs with him, being careful of my footing on the slippery steps. As we reached the bottom, I saw a man get out of a sleek, black Mercedes. He smiled in greeting as he rounded the car. I noted the pale complexion and light blond hair, every strand in its place even in the slight wind of the day. Vampire. I wondered if this was Carlisle .
When he reached the other side of the car, he took the hand of a petite young woman with caramel colored hair that also looked untouched and perfectly coiffed. They walked forward together, hand in hand, with similar smiles of welcome on their faces. As they grew closer, I gasped again, though not from the cold this time. I had expected the crimson eyes I’d grown accustomed to, but instead these vampires had pale golden ones.
“Their eyes,” I whispered to Jasper before he could ask, looking up to him for an explanation.
“Ah, yes. It’s their diet. Remember I told you about the ‘vegetarian’ vampires?” I nodded. “The Cullens are vegetarians.”
“Oh,” I said noncommittally. I pondered this as the couple reached us.
The man offered his hand out to Jasper, who released mine to shake his. “Welcome. I’m Carlisle Cullen,” he said, then stepped back and put his arm around the woman. “This is my wife and mate, Esme.”
Jasper nodded. “Jasper Whitlock,” he greeted. “And this is Bella Swan,” he gestured to me. “It’s good to meet you finally, Carlisle . I’ve heard quite a lot about you over the years.”
“Nice to meet you both,” I said, shivering again as I did.
“We are very pleased to see you both,” Esme said in a soft, soothing tone.
“Perhaps we could move this conversation to the car? It’s a bit cold and wet out here,” Jasper suggested. I was instantly grateful, shivering again as he turned to smile at me.
“Oh! Of course, my dear. Come, let’s get you settled,” Esme said. “Carlisle , put their bags in the trunk.”
“Are you warm enough?” she asked as she turned a dial on the console.
The warm air was a relief even after the short time in the cold, wet weather. “Yes, thank you. I’d forgotten how harsh the weather can be here.”
She nodded, pausing before speaking again. “I’m so sorry to meet you like this, Bella. I met your father a number of times. He was such a good man. I’m sorry for your loss.” Her voice was soft and sincere.
“Thank you, Esme.” I swallowed and watched as Jasper and Carlisle entered the car. Jasper slid into the seat next to me and I immediately reached for his hand. He readily accepted it, concern in his eyes as he felt my sadness at Esme’s words.
I nodded, a lump forming in my throat, and squeezed Jasper’s hand tighter.
“We’ll be stopping at the funeral home before heading to our house?” he asked.
Jasper answered. “Yes, head to the funeral home, but I’d like to make a pass through town before we stop there so I can get familiar with it and see what scents we may pick up.”
I shook my head and the ride commenced with small talk. They asked about the flight and my studies, and then Jasper and Carlisle discussed past events with the Volturi from when Carlisle had apparently been a part of the guard for a time. I listened quietly as I lay my head back and closed my eyes.
I idly wondered about the other Cullens. I didn’t know anything about them. The only name I’d heard before was Carlisle ’s, and besides what Aro had told us, I didn’t know anything further. I didn’t even know how many there were or what their names were.
I guess I’d find out soon enough, though. It had been a long flight and this would be a long ride, so I let myself doze in and out during the trip. At one point, I awoke to find myself curled on my side with my head in Jasper’s lap and my hands curled around his thigh. I jumped, startled and embarrassed, but he just told me to stay still and rest. His hand was trailing through my hair and I sighed, content with the soothing feel that I was coming to love too much.
I drifted in and out of consciousness for the rest of the long ride. Each time I came to, Jasper would be there, his voice and hand quieting me back into slumber.
When we finally arrived, he shook my shoulder gently. “Bella, we’re here.”
I opened my eyes, blinking a few times as I sat up, and leaned sleepily against him as I looked around. Carlisle and Esme were gone and the car was parked on the curb in front of the Forks Funeral Home. It was a quiet building with sedate landscaping, a long drive, and a parking lot.
“Bella?”
My head turned to him and I immediately noticed the change in his eyes. Instead of the normal red, they were a dark muddy brown like I remembered Marcus’ had been before we knew the truth. “Jasper, your eyes…”
“Yeah, brown contacts to disguise the red,” he informed me. “It’s easier to blend in with humans this way.”
“Oh.”
He nudged my shoulder gently. “You ready to do this?” Jasper asked.
I felt my anxiety spike and shook my head. “I can’t. I don’t want to...” I sniffled and felt tears form and begin to spill as I thought of seeing my father.
“Shh,” Jasper soothed me, taking my face in his hands. “You can do this, Bella,” he told me. I shook my head again and he gently wiped the tears from my cheeks. “Do you want me to help?”
I nodded. “Just a little, please, so I can get through this. But you’ll still stay with me, right?”
“I won’t leave you,” he promised and I felt a subtle wave of calm come over me. I took a deep breath and sniffled again. Exhaling through my mouth, I looked up at Jasper. “Thank you.”
“My pleasure, princess.” His lips twitched in a tiny smile and he smoothed my hair for me. “Ready?”
“Ready,” I said with another deep breath. He went to get out and I grabbed his hand, scooting across the seat to exit on his side. He closed the door behind us and shifted our positions so I was tucked under his left arm while my right hand was held in his.
We crossed the lot and up the few steps to the entrance. Jasper opened the door and led me through. Inside, I saw Carlisle and Esme standing with an older gentleman in a dark suit who I vaguely recognized. He made his way to me when I entered.
“Miss Swan, please accept my most sincere condolences on your loss,” he stated. “I’m Phillip Yorkie. My son, Eric, asked me to send his sympathies as well.”
“Thank you, Mr. Yorkie.”
He gave a sympathetic smile before turning to Jasper. “You must be Mr. Whitlock. Nice to meet you.” Mr. Yorkie turned back to me. “Dr. Cullen says you wished to see your father. We have everything arranged in the other room. If you’d like, we could go over some details in my office beforehand?”
I just nodded and let Jasper lead me, Carlisle and Esme opting to wait in the foyer for us. Jasper and I followed Mr. Yorkie to a small office and we sat in front of his desk on the chairs there.
“Now, Miss Swan, you don’t need to make any decisions today, but I wanted to go over what I’ve done so far, what information I’ve been provided regarding your father’s wishes, and give you some paperwork for your perusal. The paperwork will give details on the type of ceremony you might prefer and other such details.” He sifted through some papers on his desk and pulled out a file, handing it to me.
Jasper took it for me and held it as Mr. Yorkie continued on, running through the various options for the funeral, filling me in on the plans already set in place, and getting my affirmation for them. I could only nod, already starting to feel overwhelmed by the entire thing.
As if he knew it was getting to be too much, Mr. Yorkie wrapped up quickly. “Miss Swan, I know this is a difficult task. It’s never easy. If I can be of any assistance, please don’t hesitate to call me.”
“Thank you. Can I-” I looked up at Mr. Yorkie, “Can I see him now?”
“Of course.” He stood and led us out of the office and down the hall to another room. It was a cold, sterile room with a number of steel tables in the center. Along the sides were equipment, sinks, cabinets and a series of small doors to what I suspected were the freezers where the bodies were kept.
A shiver went down my spine as I entered the room. Feeling Jasper behind me, I reached out to him, nestling myself against his side as I had before, his arm secure around my shoulders. I stopped a few feet from the covered body next to which Mr. Yorkie stood, waiting patiently.
“Jasper,” I began.
He moved behind me, his hands on my shoulders as he leaned down. “Shh, you can do this,” he said softly into my ear and I felt the telltale calm mixed with a bit of confidence enter my system. It was just the boost I needed to continue forward and nod to Mr. Yorkie, who pulled back the sheet from my father’s face and shoulders, laying it gently against his chest, before quietly exiting the room and giving me a few moments alone with my father.
Nothing could have prepared me for the sight of my father at that moment. In my mind, I’d known he was dead and that he’d be lifeless and cold, but I still couldn’t quite grasp the concept that he was truly gone until that moment.
His skin was a bluish-white, even paler than the vampires I’d met, and there were various smudges of discoloration along his shoulders. There was a white bandage covering his neck and I knew it must have been damage from the newborn that had attacked him. Mr. Yorkie must have covered it out of respect. I shifted my gaze to his face, taking note of the firm and rigid set of his features. I could barely see the laugh lines next to his eyes and it suddenly struck me how he looked exactly like my father and nothing like him at the same time.
With a heavy lump in my throat, I swallowed and tried to hold back my sobs.
“Oh, Daddy,” I whispered, letting the tears fall as Jasper stood behind me, rubbing my arms and feeding me a steady stream of calm. “I’m so sorry.” I gave a humorless laugh. “That’s silly isn’t it? I don’t know why I apologized.” I reached up to touch his hair, marveling that it was still somewhat soft. “I wish we’d had more time. You never know how...precious time is until it’s cut short or gone completely.” I choked a little but contained the sob, stroking back his hair. “So, I guess that’s why I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t spend more of that time with you. I’d give anything to just see you smile one more time.” I took a deep breath. “I will miss you so much, Dad. You were there for me every time I needed you. I wish I could have been there for you.” My voice had dropped to a strangled whisper as I tried to speak through my tears. “I love you, Dad.”
As I began to break down, I lost my balance, my legs barely able to support me. Jasper held me up and turned me into his arms, holding me tightly against him. “It’s okay, Bella. Just let it out. Take as long as you need and just let it out. I’ll be here as long as you want me.”
I continued to cry, thinking how much I hoped that statement was true even while my despair was threatening to overwhelm me.
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