Chapter 11 – Allayed Fears and Cryptic Remarks
Bella POV
“So…have you decided?”
I opened my eyes and rolled my head to the side so I could look at Sera. We were both lying on the floor, staring up through the twisting branches and vines to the stars beyond the glass ceiling of the conservatory. My right hand was held in her left as we talked quietly. She had just finished telling me a - thankfully - abbreviated version of her night with Marcus, smiling and gushing like crazy.
Regardless of how it had happened or what she now had to do to be with him, Sera was ecstatic. She looked forward to her new life with him as an adventure, as she did with everything else in life. There was something about Sera that was hard to describe, but I envied it just the same and tried to emulate it to a certain degree. She just had this zest for life, like an insatiable need to experience anything and almost everything. A perfect example was this whole thing with Marcus - meeting him, finding out he’s a vampire, knowing she has to be changed and can’t go back to her old life… None of this deters her. She jumped in with both feet and she has no regrets.
As much as I wish I could do that as well, I just couldn’t. While Sera was able to make the sacrifice for the man she loved, I had no such temptations. Well, there was Jasper. He was a temptation all right, but regardless of my attraction, we barely knew each other and he most likely considered me more of an obligation than anything else right now. The fact was that I would not be choosing this fate to be with the man I loved but to avoid a permanent death.
I felt a tug on my hand and sighed, my thoughts overwhelming me. Looking over at Sera, she gave me a soft, encouraging smile and I smiled back, just a little.
“Penny for your thoughts?” she asked.
“Just thinking about all this. You. Marcus. Me.” I shook my head, feeling exasperated. “I just have more questions than answers and I have no idea where to start.”
Sera released my hand and turned onto her side, propping her head on her arm. I did the same, mimicking her pose.
“And what about a certain tall, dark and sexy-as-hell vampire that you’ve been fantasizing about since I’ve known you…?” she prompted.
“Shh!” I berated her, slapping her arm.
“Ow!” she cried, though it was a fake cry. I just glared at her, which made her laugh. “Well, he is even better in the flesh, chère.”
I blushed, making Sera snicker. “I can’t disagree with that.” I felt a small smile form on my lips and she raised a brow at me. “Nothing happened. Not really.”
“’Not really?’ Bella Swan! Spill!” she ordered, poking me in my side.
I laughed and reddened more. “Well, I sort of answered the door in…a towel.”
Sera nearly choked on her laughter. “That’s just…brilliant.” I glared at her as she continued to laugh. “What did he do?”
I shrugged. “Nothing. He just stood there a bit and then came in and gave me my suitcase.”
Her laughter died down to the occasional giggle. “So, do you think he’s interested?”
“Hell, how would I know? Why would he be?”
Sera rolled her eyes dramatically at me. “Bella, you are a gorgeous woman, you know? Didn’t you tell me he did something at the airport when y’all first saw each other?”
“Yeah, he touched my hand…barely.”
“So? Do you think he does that to everyone?” she asked. “I highly doubt it, chère.”
I thought for a moment. It would be strange if he did, and it could cause unwanted questions… I sighed. “Ugh!” I fell onto my back again and covered my eyes with my arm. “Whatever. I’ll worry about that later. He is a definite distraction, but I really have to make some decisions here.” I heard movement but I didn’t move my arm to look. “How do I come to terms with this, Sera?” My voice was quiet and I frowned upon hearing a hint of desperation in it.
After a short pause, Sera spoke. “Well, chère. What has you so worried?”
“My entire life will change, and I worry about the sacrifices I’ll have to make, I guess.” I shrugged, frowning as I turned back to my side to look at her. “And what about Charlie?”
I could see her working through my problem in her head for a moment, but then she stood up and brushed the imaginary dirt from her pants. “Come on, Bells.” She reached down and grabbed my hand, pulling me upright.
“Where are we going?” I asked, suspicious.
“To get you some answers. I know you. You’ll worry and mull over it until it drives you insane before you find out what you need to know. So we’ll just skip that part this time, yeah?” Her voice was so matter of fact.
I opened my mouth to argue with her but closed it because I knew she was right. “You’re right.”
She laughed and continued to pull me along. “Of course I am. What are best friends for, chère?”
I just chuckled and let her lead me through the halls and up the stairs to the section of the castle that held the Masters’ studies. She stopped before the door I remembered Jasper telling me led to Marcus’ study and knocked sharply.
A moment later the door opened to reveal Marcus, who had a welcoming smile on his face. Sera’s face lit into a brilliant smile as she leaned up to give Marcus a soft kiss on his lips, which he returned.
“Hey there, sug. You have a minute or twenty?” she asked him.
Marcus smiled. “Of course, cara mia. Bella. Please enter and make yourselves comfortable.” He turned to the side and swept his arm out, motioning us into the room.
“Hi, Marcus,” I said, smiling as I walked into the study.
My eyes took in the room, admiring its elegant simplicity. Dark hardwood seemed the theme for Marcus’ rooms, as it was found in this room as well as his living quarters. But instead of the contrast of creams and golds like in those rooms, this room used a more muted, deep wine color – the kind of dark red in which you could see hints of purple.
The furnishings were fairly simple as well. A large desk sat in the middle of the wall between two large windows to the right of the door, facing the interior of the room. There was a big, comfortable looking desk chair behind it with two smaller, similar versions resting on the other side for guests.
Across the room was a seating area – a long couch, love seat and two wingback chairs in the same theme as the desk chairs. Between the chairs I could see a large fireplace over which stood a large, blank space where a painting seemed to have been hung. Flanking the fireplace were shelves. Indeed, the shelving encompassed the entirety of the walls where there was not a door or window. In spite of the cold fireplace, I loved this room and found it kind of cozy.
Sera pulled me behind her to the seating area and sat on the couch, tugging on my arm to sit next to her, which I did. Marcus followed and sat in the seat across from us. He seemed curious but waited for one of us to speak first.
After a long, silent moment, Sera sighed in exasperation. “Marcus, Bella has a problem and I think you can answer some of her questions for her…or at least give her some advice.” She squeezed my hand, making me look at her, and she urged me with her eyes to speak.
I sighed and smiled at Marcus, feeling a bit foolish. “I’m sorry, Marcus. I know you’re busy.”
He smiled. “I should not be so busy that I cannot afford a small amount of my time for a friend, Bella. Please explain the manner in which I may be of assistance. I presume this has to do with the decision before you?” I gave him a slow nod. “Would you prefer that I gather my brothers as well? I may give my thoughts and opinions, but all final decisions are accomplished through the combined efforts of the three of us.”
I made a little bit of a face at that. “No, I’d rather just speak to you, Marcus. For now, at least.”
“Certainly. Please, Bella. How may I be of service?”
I glanced at Sera, who was sitting quietly beside me. “Don’t look at me! In fact, I’m gonna sit here and be a wallflower so y’all can talk it out,” she admonished me.
I laughed at the idea. Sera had never been a wallflower her entire life. But the laughter broke some of my tension and I relaxed and leaned back on the couch to ask advice from the man who had become like a brother to me.
“I know the choice I have is basically rebirth as a vampire or permanent death,” I began. “I guess I want to know the logistics. I just… I have a million questions!”
“I understand this is a difficult decision, Bella. I do not expect you to enter into it lightly. I will answer any questions you have to the best of my ability.”
I started with the first thing that came to mind. “Would I have to be changed immediately? Or is the timing…flexible?” I asked, searching for an appropriate word.
Marcus sat back in his chair, one hand rising to his chin as he contemplated my question. “It is an unorthodox request. In fact, I have never heard of such a thing having taken place. However, were the parameters something we could agree upon, then you would have my support. I would suggest the change not be put off for long. You are at an agreeable age and in perfect health. Do not forget that you will remain at your current age for all time.”
I shook my head. “No, not for long. Just…I would like to finish my schooling here and maybe see my father one more time. I won’t see him again after, right?” I felt Sera’s free hand rubbing my arm, trying to offer comfort, and I squeezed her hand in thanks.
“Perhaps I should explain the change process. First, you will be bitten in various strategic places on your person – neck, wrists, ankles and your chest near your heart. This will cause the venom to spread more quickly throughout your system, thus minimizing the duration of the change by some hours. Even so, you will burn for nearly three days until the change reaches completion. It is an excruciating pain - one that is never forgotten.
“After your change, you will be what we call a ‘newborn’. Jasper could explain in more detail, but essentially during this time your bloodlust will be high, uncontrollable at first. In addition, you will be temperamental as you attempt to learn and adapt to your new body, mind, and abilities. This stage can last for quite a while, although the standard is generally one to two years.”
I thought this over for a few minutes, my teeth worrying at my lower lip. “So we’ll be moody bitches with a craving for human blood?”
Marcus raised a brow at my contemporary terminology but nodded. “In a manner of speaking.”
I huffed out a breath. “Then what?”
“Then you are welcome to stay and become part of our guard, or you may wish to go out on your own and experience life as a nomad. It is entirely your choice, Bella. So long as one adheres to our laws, there are no restrictions.”
“So I could see my father again after this newborn stage?” I asked, sitting forward in anticipation.
“I see no reason why you could not do so once your bloodlust has been managed successfully.”
I heaved a sigh of relief, the largest of my worries having been seen to. “Thank you, Marcus. My father and I are the last of our family except for a few distant relatives that I’ve never even met. They live in New Mexico
“That is understandable,” Marcus said simply. “Nonetheless, if it continues to be your wish, you will need to speak with my brothers regarding the waiting period and attain their approval.”
“I will.” I smiled and stood, Marcus and Sera standing with me. Stepping forward, I leaned up to kiss his cheek. “Thank you, Marcus. I feel much better now.”
“I am pleased that you will become one of us, Bella.” He gave me a small, gentle smile before looking down at me as if trying to impress his next words and their meaning upon me. “I have discovered much in reading the unfathomable bonds between humans and vampires alike, as well as experiencing said bonds myself.” His tone was quiet but steady and I again got the feeling he was trying to tell me something. “I believe it was fate that brought you here at this time in your life. She brought you to me, which in turn brought me Sera. But perhaps fate has not finished in her task.” Marcus took my hand and laid it over my heart. “Live with your heart open and allow her to guide you.”
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